Saturday 11 December 2010

A few thoughts

For a long time now I haven't felt like I wanted to post an entry and there is no one reason for this. All I will say is, I haven't been all that happy. I started this year full of hope: I had decided on a new direction career-wise, something more fulfilling and congruent with me as a person and less empty and vacuous than I had found the world of television to be. It hasn't been an altogether successful move so far, and certainly not very lucrative, but, as a hero of mine once said, these things take time. I didn't take into account the kind of personal issues this kind of move would raise and I end the year somewhat wiser and happier, but most of all thankful. Thankful for things I had, until this year, taken completely for granted.

These days it's so easy to get caught up in the superficial trappings of popular culture. It's everywhere and almost impossible to escape. There's no denying that the world of "celebrity", social networking, technology and personal image all have a place in our ever changing society, but as our fascination in these things grows and grows, it becomes harder and harder, I think, to remember what's really important, and what's important are people.

My three closest friends, whose identity I will protect (two of whom I met, ironically, whilst working in telly) have, in the last two years, been through the most terrible and traumatic events you could imagine. All three have dealt with them with such dignity and love that I am in total awe of their strength, courage and selflessness. It is they who have moved me to write this post and I do so in their honour.

This year I have learnt things about people I considered to be friends, that have surprised, hurt and disappointed me. I'm sure this is the natural order of things, as we are, after all, only human and therefore fallible creatures. But equally, it has never been so apparent to me to keep hold of the people who continually give everything they have to everybody else, even though they, themselves, are dying inside. Such strength I can hardly compute, but these people are so rare and beautiful and I give thanks every day that they are in my life.

I am lucky too, to have a supremely loving family who continue to support me unconditionally in whatever I do. They never lecture, judge or make me feel like I should be doing the conventional things most people my age are doing. They respect me as a person and know that I will not necessarily conform to a traditional lifestyle. They believe, as I do, that if it's right, it will happen on its own and when I'm ready, but they don't spoil or wrap me in cotton wool either. How many people can say the same?

So, to sum up, I may not have the job, the house, the car, the money or the relationship but I know that I love, and am loved by my family and my friends and what more do you need, really?

After all, as a wise man once said, "No man is a failure who has friends".

1 comment:

  1. I love ya, Nina! Not seen you for WAY too long... x

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